It was not my choice to have just one child. The norm where I live seems to be two or three or none at all. I would have had two if life had gone as planned. But of course, life rarely does go as planned!
In a way I was fortunate to find out about my infertility before it was too late. I regret it took me and hubby more years to consider in vitro than it should have taken. In the world of in vitro odds, and pregnancy odds in general, every year counts as far as success rates go. All the testing I had, including exploratory surgery, came out inconclusive. In my mind I didn’t want to give up on the fact that it possibly could happen naturally. Frankly, the thought of shots in my ass and strange drugs in my body kind of scared me! In the end, the more frightening thought was that maybe I would never birth a child and so we took the chance. Lo and behold, we got pregnant on our first try! The hard part was over, now I could enjoy my pregnancy. That is, as far as any pregnancy can be enjoyed. My sister is currently in her third trimester and she is miserable.
Of course, then I hit another roadblock and had an emergency c-section at 28 weeks. It was an emotional time as Rocky needed surgery at 2 weeks old (just 3 lbs) plus several blood transfusions but this whole process brought us our Jedi Musician and it was worth it. As for siblings, we tried once more (didn’t take) and then I hung on to the small possibility of a natural pregnancy until I realized that “Hey, I’m turning 40. Do I really want to start again? Even adoption agencies frown upon couples over 40.” I thought I might be super sad at the thought of never having another but I’m actually okay with it. Hubby and I decided that if we are only having one, we will enjoy him to the fullest and we do. It is my job now to provide him with opportunities for companionship and to keep him from being overindulged. Perhaps one day he will have the multiple children I never had. He’s already thinking of names. The first one being Carmalus. I don’t know where he gets this stuff.
Are you the parent of a lonely only? Did you decide to have just one or did fate intervene? I’ll tell you one thing, in the short term it is way less stressful (and fun!) mothering one than dealing with several little people (each with a different temperament) all at once. He will have all our resources at his disposal and traveling is not such a bear. Statistically, only children fair very well in school and in life. I feel a little sorry that he won’t have a sibling to lean on, especially as an adult but, hey, there is never any guarantee that the siblings you get are going to be friends. In some cases, they are a drain. I was a middle child of four and I often wished I could have my parents and my stuff all to myself. Some days I also fantasized about having an identical twin. I guess we always wonder how living a different life would be no matter how our family turns out.
For your entertainment, here is Rachel Berry singing an original song about being an only child. Yes, I am a Gen X Mom Gleek!